Pet Peeve O' the day

I hate the waay children's TV programs invent words. Poor Grace will grow up thinking lunarific and positooney are real words. Even worse, she'll probably grow up thinking "I will not ever never
eat a tomato" is a gramatically correct sentence.

[sigh]

I guess you can't believe everything you hear on TV. These seem like less than white lies in the scheme of things.

A reason for Mums to use one (just one) cloth nappy a day,...

I've been giving this some thought. The thought of managing six or seven cloth nappies a day is pretty overwhelming and would add quite a bit of work to a busy mum's life.

However, if they just made the switch for one of those nappies each day, they would still save a significant amount of both money and landfill space. Think about this:

Based on an average cost per nappy of 42c each (I used Mums Happy Nappies prices for Baby Love and Huggies to get an average price), making the switch once a day could save $153.30 per year, while the landfill savings would be approximately one third of a tonne (based on the average volume of a full wet nappy). That's one third of the capacity of your average builder's ute.

It's worth considering,....

Deborah Conway - Still Alive and Brilliant

A woman with smooth skin and big red lips, Deb opens her mouth unusually wide. She looks lovely on stage but is stunning on camera. Her photographic halo burns red on stage. She spits fire and rage out over the audience.

Deborah (Deb) Conway was born in Melbourne on 8 August 1959. Her schoolgirl photos are featured in the Jewish-Australian museum in Sydney.

Deborah's tall frame and photogenic features paid her way through uni and modelling was her first feminist soapbox. Her refusal to shave her legs and armpits cost occasional modelling jobs but her feminist values didn't stop her putting her ass behind the "Bluegr" for Bluegrass jeans .

It was 1979 when Deborah joined Melbourne band The Benders. Her father, a Toorak lawyer, sent her to a psychiatrist. He was convinced that since she had joined a band she would then take up drugs. She admits to a little experimentation. The Benders' drummer, Dorland Bray was her mentor. She wrote her first songs with him. It is rumoured she was best man at his wedding. Deborah became the vocalist for Sydney punk band Do Re Mi in 1981 and went on to have significant levels of chart success. Deb wrote their top selling single "Man Overboard," the first song on the Australian charts to have phrases like 'penis envy' and 'pubic hair' in the lyrics. She lived with Paul Hester at the time, best known as the drummer in Crowded House.

In 1988 Do Re Mi followed in the footsteps of Aussie greats like the Easybeats and AC/DC, going to the United Kingdom in search of international success. Virgin UK soon offered Do Re Mi a recording contract. Pete Townshend from The Who saw Deborah perform in a Do Re Mi video and offered her a role singing on his album, "Iron Man". Conway said "He's a charming, erudite man with lots of stories and the sessions were easy,… The direct result happened some time later. Virgin [UK], having got wind that I would do other work outside of Do Re Mi slapped a solo deal on the table saying that they wanted that before another Do Re [Mi] album." Townshend's album was not the only solo project Deborah did in London. She played a goddess, clothed while everyone else was naked, in Peter Greenaway's film, "Prospero's Books." She also sang on the film's soundtrack.

The Australian press accused Do Re Mi and Deb Conway of naivety, saying Deb was only chart fodder and implying that she should have known better. She rejected that notion, and the solo album recorded for Virgin UK was never released . Do Re Mi resisted Virgin UK's attempts to split the band for about a year, before breaking up on bad terms anyway.

Deb went to Los Angeles for a year and spent time there learning the guitar. She drew on old friendships with Australian singer/songwriters like Paul Kelly, Tim Finn and Mark Seymour, and began to write her own music. It was three years, six producers, four false starts, three continents and two record companies before 1991 album "String of Pearls" was released." "It's only the beginning," was Conway's most successful song, reaching its highest position of #19 on the Australian charts during August 1991. The album sold 70,000 copies and went platinum, a vindication for the stand she made in London. In 1991 she won an ARIA award for best Female Artist. The success did not translate into dollars for Conway. Her desperation to rebuild her career meant that she signed a contract entitling her to publishing rights only - she received nothing from the record sales.

"One step forward, two steps backward," her song Alive and Brilliant says. "I won't wrestle, you won't talk back," she sings of life experiences that could belong to anyone, but they remain hers, loaned out to us for three minutes at a time. "That really hurts, I'm still alive and brilliant".

In 1991 Deborah incorporated her newfound guitar skills into a touring stage act, "Deborah Conway and the Mothers of Pearl" . She said it felt more natural to sing and play guitar on stage. She became romantically and musically involved with a guitarist she hired for the tour, Willy Zygier. "I recognised almost immediately a kindred spirit and a cute arse," she said. She considered song writing one of the most intimate of all human exchanges. The musical partnership of Conway / Zygier was now formed. Zygier collaborated on her next album, 'Bitch Epic' in 1993. The cover art included a naked Conway, slathered in chocolate spread, ready to devour a tray full of creamy cakes. Conway said: "What struck me more about the photo was that I was all mouth and covered in chocolate, rather than if you look really close you can see a tiny bit of nipple."

A routine week 18 ultrasound of Deb and Willy's unborn first child, Syd Dolores, prompted a side project in 1995. The band called Ultrasound, included Deborah, Willy, Paul Hester and Bill McDonald. They recorded an album of electronic pop in five days using songs left over from old projects. Willy, and fellow band member, Paul Hester were left to do interviews and promote the album while Deborah nursed her newborn baby. There was no tour and the album received little airplay. As a result, the album sold very few copies.

Deb and Willy took their newborn baby to the UK where they spent two years. The culmination of that trip was Deborah's third album, "My Third Husband," released in 1997. The album was recorded in their loungeroom with newly purchased recording equipment, juggling equipment manuals and breastfeeding. She and Willy wrote songs at night while baby Syd slept. Conway believes this dark night-time mood is reflected in the album. They returned to Australia in 1997 to release the album and promote it. While the critics acclaimed the album, radio stations viewed it as not commercial enough and it received little radio airplay.

Conway was now six months pregnant with her second daughter, Alma DelRay, and touring to promote "My Third Husband". She explains: "I frocked up in red sequins with a large heart cut-out over the lump in gold mesh and highlighted with rhinestones. It was a showstopper with a slow reveal as the guitar which I played for the first five songs covered the heart completely. I wanted to get Shirley-Bassey-meets-Danny-La-Rue in a postmodern pastiche of glamour and earth mother-alien style. Anyway, it had the desired effect and audience and critics alike sent up a collective gasp".

Deborah had two more daughters before she recorded her next album. Alma DelRay was born in late 1997, and Hettie Ira was born in early 2000. It would be easy to assume that Conway was busy with motherhood during that time; however a new album was brewing. A new record label, Shock Records, and a new album represented a step into the alternative domain. The new label was an attempt to force the music industry and consumers to recategorise Conway. The album she released through Shock Records, "Exquisite Stereo," received critical acclaim but poor sales. Once again, she sings, "It's been a long time, a long time, since anyone meant what they said…That really hurts, I'm still alive and brilliant."

Deborah's disappointment with the lack of commercial success prompted her to consider other options. She auditioned for the part of Patsy Cline in a stage play, saying she had nothing to lose. The part in a national touring show was a novelty for Conway, who is more used to juggling dirty nappies with recording equipment and low budget tours. Five star hotel rooms, courtesy Mercedes Benz' and eight hours sleep a night signalled a luxury holiday from motherhood. She wrote a web log of her 'Cline' experience for her 'mostly unofficial' web-site.

Conway describes the evening after September 11: "We played a show on 12 September 2001. It was a particularly difficult performance, one woman down the front wept for almost the entire evening, we played our bums off anyway. When we got to Patsy's plane crash, I don't think there was a dry eye in the house. But we kept it together for the sake of music lovers everywhere. Then we got to go home and weep too."

A closer look at Conway's web log reveals a mother that loves her children, a woman still trying to figure out who she is. Deborah has determined not to be the kind of performer that does things just for commercial reasons, but she'll occasionally surprise. Categorise her as rock-chick deftly managing motherhood and music, and it comes out that she allows journalists to sit in the back seat of her car during cross town trips - while breastfeeding! Perhaps idealism is no longer commercially viable. She sees Patsy Cline as a watershed moment in her career, and has made the foray into commercialism one more time with a 'Best of' album. Conway says the album has the quality of an obituary.

But Deborah Conway is far from a memory and her career is far from over. Her career has covered many places other musicians would fear to tread, and reached heights that some can only aspire to. She has had the privilege of juggling motherhood with music and devoting her working life to something that she loves. Deborah Conway is a woman who may have nothing to lose in career terms, but her richness exists in multiple facets. She is still alive and brilliant.

For more info on Deb

Online

• Perfect Patsy (C. Webb), Sydney Morning Herald [Accessed 27 September 2002 - no longer online]


• Deborah Conway - Mostly Unofficial Site (M. O'Meara [Accessed 12 October 2002]


• Portrait of the artist as a mother (K. Kissane), The Age [Accessed 27 September 2002 - no longer online]


• Deborah Conway - It's a girl thing (A. Prasad), Innerviews [Accessed 3 September 2002]

Offline

• Long Way to the Top: Stories of Australian & New Zealand Rock and Roll (J. Cockington) - Episode 5 - INXS, In Exile 1976-88 [DVD].


• The Real Thing: Adventures in Australian rock & roll (T. Creswell & M. Fabinyi), Published by Random House.



• The encyclopedia of Australian rock and pop (I. McFarlane), Published by Allen & Unwin.


• 'Women's Song: The role of female performers (S. Trenoweth),1994 Juice/Powerhouse Museum Special Issue: Real Wild Child, Published by Terraplane Press.


• Who's Who of Australian Rock, 3rd edition (C. Spencer), Published by The Five Mile Press Pty Ltd.


• No obits, just hits (J. Porter), Time Off, vol.1087, 28 August - 3 September 2002.

This article was originally posted on the old version of my blog several years ago - some time around 2004. It was deleted during a site revamp, but I promised the Bitch Listers that I would re-post it. That was waaay too long ago. It only just occurred to me that I hadn't done it. My apologies for the delay,...

Ever wanted to be a florist?

I have. In fact, back in about 1994 I did one semester of a floristry course. If I'm realistic, I'd have to say I flit from career idea to career idea,.... but now that I'm a mum the idea of returning to work terrifies me. I feel like I need to retrain before waltzing into the workplace for many reasons.

a. My skills are out of date.
b. My references are over ten years old.
c. I don't really want to return to financial admin / data entry / SAP.

The problem is that I'm not really sure what I want to do instead. Oh, of course, we all know I want to write but the reality is that not many writers can make a living from their craft. All they do is subsist on government handouts until some publisher somewhere decides they're worthwhile and gives them an advance and a decent marketing budget. [sigh] No, if I'm to be realistic, writing is not a suitable career option.

So, in the interest of self-evaluation I'm considering things I've been interested in before,.... life long interests, passions, whatever. Some of them just wouldn't work in with my family eg. working in hospitality, however some seem possible. I've been contemplating floristry lately. I noticed that Southbank TAFE has a nice floristry program that allows you to do a Cert 2 in semester 1 and then, if you're still interested, a Cert 3 in semester 2.

Other floristry things seem to be showing up for me to contemplate. eg. Tonight's New Inventors featured an invention called the "Ezy Bouquet". Frankly, I'm impressed by it. It doesn't stifle a florist's creativity, it just supports it. It gives the florist free hands, which never used to happen when creating a strauss bouquet.

Other things I've come across include an Aussie floristry supplier who sells to the public online - H. E. Koch & Co. and a US craft site called Save On Crafts that has a really extensive floristry education section.

OK, I know I flit from option to option,... but I really am at a place in my life where I need to consider options. If my pregnancy test comes back negative on Friday morning, well,... at least I've given myself an emotional carrot to gaze at during the shock and pain. It doesn't matter whether I run off to tafe next year or not,... it just helps me get through. The idea of it helps. Even if I know (or suspect) this is me giving myself a mental crutch, it doesn't matter. It's such a delicious prospect that the technique works - especially if I convince myself that the prospect is a real option in case of failure.

During my first IVF back in 2004, I had the prospect of becoming a Family Day Care mummy as my carrot and it worked a treat. In fact, I had myself convinced that I would still do that after Grace started school,... but recently I've realised it for the hollow construct / coping strategy that it was. It's OK though. I'm glad I've realised that this is just something I do for myself as a coping mechanism. It's a kind of workplace fantasy that won't find you in the bosses' office without your shoes.

[sigh]

Gotta sleep now. thanks for listening.

Excuse me if my blog has no consistency of theme.

I know my blog is not a cookery blog, but it does have the odd foodie post. It is not a faith blog but it also has spiritual stuff along the way. It is not crafty, nor is it social commentary. In fact, just like myself, I don't know what the hell my blog is all about.

It was this stage in my last phase of IVF that the hormones had so tripped with my head that I became convinced that I had adult ADHD. I'm going through it all again. In fact, reading this article: Adult ADHD: 50 Tips on Management
by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J. Ratey, M.D. just reduced me to tears. My darling husband, who is a trained counsellor, has kindly pointed out to me that I do not have ADHD and that it is a complicated diagnosis,... however I personally think that I sit somewhere down that end of the spectrum and I do struggle with the big ADHD issues of impulsivity, inattentiveness, distraction and their related complications (and negative impacts on the self-esteem).

The line from that article that really got me was:

"Don't feel chained to conventional careers or conventional ways of coping. Give yourself permission to be yourself. Give up trying to be the person you always thought you should be--the model student or the organized executive, for example--and let yourself be who you are."

Let yourself be who you are. I want to weep. Let yourself be who you are. How long have I struggled to fit into everyone else's mold? It seems my entire life has been about trying to fit into society, as if it were an ill-fitting pair of non-stretch jeans and doing that button up at the top made me feel like I wanted to throw up.

Let yourself be who you are.

Frankly, I wouldn't have a clue who I am and it seems like an important task to try and find out.

[sigh]

Pimp Your Undies!

Fat chicks of the world UNITE!!!! Don't let the fashion industry tell you what undies you can and cannot wear. Thumb your nose at the prima donnas who tell you that fat chicks can't wear anything but beige cottontails.

OK, so they might be comfortable and practical and available in plus sizes,... but Cottontails come in about three pastel shades, a nasty shade of beige that looks like you washed your whites in with Dad's work socks, and occasionally they do a really tragic floral pattern in an insipid mint-green and white design.

In frustration, I tried some Rio undies. Full marks to them for their "Sexy at any size" range. My purple spotty undies definitely do make me feel like dancing. BUT, and there is a BUTT, they seem a little fond of - ahem - moving out of their preferred position. So, I have returned to comfy old cottontails,...

But this time I know better. Last night, Grace and I pimped my undies. Now my cottontails are scarlet red. Nice,... and liberating.

An horticultural-type with a sense of humour.

Had to store this link somewhere safe so this is the place: Plants are the Strangest People

I was bumbling my way through google trying to work out how to propagate some more Zanzibar Gem for my patio when I found this. I was surprised to find an horticultural-type with a sense of humour and thought, this must be treasured. Since losing my beloved Peter Cundall, my garden has suffered. It has only been watered once every week or so,.... the last time I fertilized was maybe 3 or 4 weeks ago,... Grace pulled all my tiny green tomatoes off the bush. All this has merely added to my garden rejection.

Until now. Now that I have found this blog,.... my gardening joy has returned a little. I will propagate those tiny Zanzibar Gem plants. Oh yes,.... I will.