If you have the strange desire to catch up on my back story, go to http://destinationdigest.tripod.com. I was surprised to find it still online. I haven't logged on to tripod in many many years. I wouldn't have a clue what my password is or even how to get it updated. But my old blog remains there like an old friend, a reminder of all the angst and struggle of infertility and missing my wonderful friends (and great times) in Melbourne.
Check it out some time. Marvel at how far I've come,... cry with me on my tragic pursuit of motherhood. Rejoice now, as I do (when I'm not moping) in being a mum and all of its joys and challenges.
This afternoon my daughter told me I was mean because I wouldn't let her eat chocolate for lunch. It cut me to the core. She got heaps of chocolate for dessert after she ate her lunch of reheated mince and vegies. I gave more than she really should have because I didn't want her to think I was mean. She's called me mean a couple of times lately. I'm surprised how much it hurts me. She says "love you" to Scott before bed, but she doesn't tell me that. I just get told I'm mean. It hurts.
I know she loves me. I'm the one she clings to for cuddles and safety,... I just don't want to be called "mean".
[sigh]
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