Loving my new background. It's a trip. It's the kind of image I wish I could paint. A splash here. A nonchalant drizzle there. Brilliant colour mixed and mashed. I guess it's what I do with flowers.
Am confronting the thought of moving. It's the first time I've ever had to move house but not had that joyful excitement that comes with new beginnings. It's been a tough year for us and we've just had to man up, take it on the chin and all that crap. I'm not looking forward, I don't have any kind of vision for our future, I'm just enduring it at the moment. It's sad how life slaps you in the face once and you're fearful for the next three years as a result. [sigh]
I know God is with me. But I'm still hurting. I haven't got a revelation of God the Comforter yet. I know I will, though. That is this year's challenge,.... to find the God of all Comfort. Where are you?
Genesis 5:29
He named him Noah and said, "He will comfort us in the labor and painful toil of our hands caused by the ground the LORD has cursed."
Monday 5 July 2010
Friday 25 June 2010
Wednesday 19 May 2010
PGX Daily Ultra Matrix Softgels: A review of the first five days
I decided to try out this high-tech fibre supplement after reading about it in How to Prevent and Treat Diabetes with Natural Medicine by Murray & Lyon. I will preface my review by saying PGX is useful because of its clinically-proven ability to reduce blood sugars, blood pressure and cholesterol. If you need it for fibre, I think there might be some products out there that are easier to take.
Also, it is clearly indicated that you need to drink heaps of water with this product because it can absorb more than a hundred times (I read somewhere 400x or was it 700x?) its own weight in water. This can create dehydration in your body if you don't drink enough water. This is a no-brainer, so when you're reading reviews that talk about headaches, it's more than likely that they didn't drink enough water. [Rant over]
Day 1
Dose: 1 x 750mg tablet before breakfast, 1 x 750mg tablet before dinner.
BMI = 33.9
The PGX tablets are huge - like horse tablets! By the time I'd taken one tablet and drunk the requisite 250ml of water, I felt nauseous. Over the next hour I forced down another cup of water.
Day 2
Dose: 1 x 750mg tablet before each main meal
I could definitely notice a stability in my hunger levels today. I really didn't feel hungry right into the afternoon.
Taking the tablets makes me nauseous. I have been drinking 1 litre of water with each tablet and still feeling thirsty and slightly overheated / feverish. I've had a headache this afternoon which I'm attributing to dehydration, so I'm drinking more water.
I'm bloated with water and weeing constantly.
Day 3
Dose: 1 x 750mg tablet before meals
I woke in the night extremely thirsty and headachey. This gave me a bit of a fright. I drank close to 600mls of water and went back to sleep. I woke up needing to wee a few hours later.
It scares me that this supplement could be hammering my kidneys! I hope it doesn't continue like this or I won't be able to keep taking PGX.
After last night, I stayed at yesterdays dose, with 600 mls of water to wash down each tablet. In the next hour after each dose, I sipped another cup or so of water.
If I have to go on drinking close to 6 litres of water a day, I won't be able to do this. It could be a deal breaker. That said, the appetite suppresant is noticable. I don't have any cravings between meals, I don't have any blood sugar swings. As a PCOS veteran of 25 years, and having had insulin-dependant gestational diabetes, I know what blood sugar swings are like, and I didn't have any. This is a revelation to me! I feel so stable. I noticed myself making a couple of healthier choices that I wouldn't normally make.
Day 4
Dose: 2 x 750mg tablet before each main meal
I really want to get to an effective dose (Not that it hasn't been effective so far!) so I'm taking two tablets before each meal today. I had the brekky dose at morning tea time today because I really want normal blood pressure medication to be well absorbed. It was only an hour or two until lunch time so I didn't have a dose at lunch, I had it at afternoon tea.
Even an hour or two after the dose, it had a clear appetite suppressing effect. I think that my blood sugars are more stable too. I am not noticing the blood sugar swings that are so typical of my normal day.
My lunch was a smaller portion. I nibbled fruit mid-afternoon. Normally it would be something really high carb like biscuits or crackers to top me up, but I didn't feel like I needed it.
Same at dinner. I ate smaller portions. By dinner, or even the lunch dose, I noticed that I could take those horse tablets and wash 600mls of water down in about three gulps and without nausea. It seems I'm adjusting to it. This is good.
Day 5
Dose: 3 x 750mg tablets before meals
I'm increasing the dose to 3 tablets before each meal today. I really want to get up to the dose that is medically significant for reducing blood sugar levels - from my reading it's between 4 and 6 tablets per meal.
I took 3 tablets before breakfast.
I plan to take my medication mid-morning, well after this dose. I read that you need to allow 3 - 4 hours for PGX to go down before you take any medication and you need to take it at least 1 hour before you have any more PGX. I'll take my blood pressure medication and a multi-vitamin around 11am today.
I think I'll start testing my fasting glucose (ie. thumb-prick test before eating in the morning) and maybe the occasional blood pressure reading. Along with my BMI, it will be a record of how the PGX is working on me. That should be interesting to see. (-:
I'm glad the extreme nausea and thirst has subsided. The headaches were concerning. I don't know how much was dehydration and how much was the poor absorption of my afternoon cup of coffee!!
Stay tuned for more comments on my PGX experiences. I really hope it helps me. I need a tool to help me start eating properly. It's such a battle.
Also, it is clearly indicated that you need to drink heaps of water with this product because it can absorb more than a hundred times (I read somewhere 400x or was it 700x?) its own weight in water. This can create dehydration in your body if you don't drink enough water. This is a no-brainer, so when you're reading reviews that talk about headaches, it's more than likely that they didn't drink enough water. [Rant over]
Day 1
Dose: 1 x 750mg tablet before breakfast, 1 x 750mg tablet before dinner.
BMI = 33.9
The PGX tablets are huge - like horse tablets! By the time I'd taken one tablet and drunk the requisite 250ml of water, I felt nauseous. Over the next hour I forced down another cup of water.
Day 2
Dose: 1 x 750mg tablet before each main meal
I could definitely notice a stability in my hunger levels today. I really didn't feel hungry right into the afternoon.
Taking the tablets makes me nauseous. I have been drinking 1 litre of water with each tablet and still feeling thirsty and slightly overheated / feverish. I've had a headache this afternoon which I'm attributing to dehydration, so I'm drinking more water.
I'm bloated with water and weeing constantly.
Day 3
Dose: 1 x 750mg tablet before meals
I woke in the night extremely thirsty and headachey. This gave me a bit of a fright. I drank close to 600mls of water and went back to sleep. I woke up needing to wee a few hours later.
It scares me that this supplement could be hammering my kidneys! I hope it doesn't continue like this or I won't be able to keep taking PGX.
After last night, I stayed at yesterdays dose, with 600 mls of water to wash down each tablet. In the next hour after each dose, I sipped another cup or so of water.
If I have to go on drinking close to 6 litres of water a day, I won't be able to do this. It could be a deal breaker. That said, the appetite suppresant is noticable. I don't have any cravings between meals, I don't have any blood sugar swings. As a PCOS veteran of 25 years, and having had insulin-dependant gestational diabetes, I know what blood sugar swings are like, and I didn't have any. This is a revelation to me! I feel so stable. I noticed myself making a couple of healthier choices that I wouldn't normally make.
Day 4
Dose: 2 x 750mg tablet before each main meal
I really want to get to an effective dose (Not that it hasn't been effective so far!) so I'm taking two tablets before each meal today. I had the brekky dose at morning tea time today because I really want normal blood pressure medication to be well absorbed. It was only an hour or two until lunch time so I didn't have a dose at lunch, I had it at afternoon tea.
Even an hour or two after the dose, it had a clear appetite suppressing effect. I think that my blood sugars are more stable too. I am not noticing the blood sugar swings that are so typical of my normal day.
My lunch was a smaller portion. I nibbled fruit mid-afternoon. Normally it would be something really high carb like biscuits or crackers to top me up, but I didn't feel like I needed it.
Same at dinner. I ate smaller portions. By dinner, or even the lunch dose, I noticed that I could take those horse tablets and wash 600mls of water down in about three gulps and without nausea. It seems I'm adjusting to it. This is good.
Day 5
Dose: 3 x 750mg tablets before meals
I'm increasing the dose to 3 tablets before each meal today. I really want to get up to the dose that is medically significant for reducing blood sugar levels - from my reading it's between 4 and 6 tablets per meal.
I took 3 tablets before breakfast.
I plan to take my medication mid-morning, well after this dose. I read that you need to allow 3 - 4 hours for PGX to go down before you take any medication and you need to take it at least 1 hour before you have any more PGX. I'll take my blood pressure medication and a multi-vitamin around 11am today.
I think I'll start testing my fasting glucose (ie. thumb-prick test before eating in the morning) and maybe the occasional blood pressure reading. Along with my BMI, it will be a record of how the PGX is working on me. That should be interesting to see. (-:
I'm glad the extreme nausea and thirst has subsided. The headaches were concerning. I don't know how much was dehydration and how much was the poor absorption of my afternoon cup of coffee!!
Stay tuned for more comments on my PGX experiences. I really hope it helps me. I need a tool to help me start eating properly. It's such a battle.
Sunday 21 March 2010
The slightly-revised 20 day fast.
This afternoon I made an executive call and ended my fast. I celebrated with Scott and Grace. We shared a heavy coffee and a block of chocolate. The chocolate was lovely, the coffee was ho-hum. I have two issues with coffee at the moment. Firstly, the caffeine does me no favours. Secondly, the presence of dairy concerns me as it is not the wonderchild of a superfood and according to my reading, causes the body extra work in its digestion.
Coffee is so insidious though. It felt so normal to drink it again and I thought it hardly seems like I stopped for 20 days. Then upon reflection I realised it wasn't 20 days. It took me about 5 to wean myself off, so I really only stopped for about 15 days. An hour or so after that coffee, I found myself thinking that I'd really like another one of those. I really had to pull myself up or I would have just marched out to the kitchen on some kind of autopilot and made one. [sigh] Habits don't die easy.
There was some guilt associated with ending the fast early. And there was even more at introducing dairy to my vegan fast last weekend. I apologise for not blogging about it but I've been going through a lot of personal/work challenges in the past week, not to mention struggling to cope with this fast. While the first half of the fast was spiritual, the second half was just holding on. Adding diary to the fast felt like a cop out to keep myself sane and try to help myself to stick with the fast.
Looking back, my fast was far from perfect. But I learned something from my imperfect attempt. It was that there was value, even in my imperfection. The fast showed me that I could control what I ate, I could control my reactions. I learned that I could use alternatives to help me cope - especially with the major disappointment of not winning the BHAG house.
Towards the end of the fast my attitude stank. I was tired and ready for it to be finished. I agonised for the last week with guilt for introducing diary and then guilt for finishing early. It was almost as if I was conceding defeat this afternoon by ending it early. In a way, I was.
I have experienced the great GRACE of God in the past few hours as I dwelled on my imperfection. It's like God is telling me I value your efforts. I'm glad you tried. It's not all or nothing. There is great value in what you've done. You've learned lessons in coping, lessons about yourself,... you've trusted me. You've been humble and you've been humbled.
The revelation that there was value in imperfection inspired me. I instantly started vaccuuming and cleaning the bathroom because it didn't matter if it was perfect or complete anymore. What matttered was that I make an effort. After two hours cleaning and scrubbing, I felt fantastic.
I learned something and I believe God broke the spirit of '"Perfectionism" off my life.
Hallelujah and Amen.
Coffee is so insidious though. It felt so normal to drink it again and I thought it hardly seems like I stopped for 20 days. Then upon reflection I realised it wasn't 20 days. It took me about 5 to wean myself off, so I really only stopped for about 15 days. An hour or so after that coffee, I found myself thinking that I'd really like another one of those. I really had to pull myself up or I would have just marched out to the kitchen on some kind of autopilot and made one. [sigh] Habits don't die easy.
There was some guilt associated with ending the fast early. And there was even more at introducing dairy to my vegan fast last weekend. I apologise for not blogging about it but I've been going through a lot of personal/work challenges in the past week, not to mention struggling to cope with this fast. While the first half of the fast was spiritual, the second half was just holding on. Adding diary to the fast felt like a cop out to keep myself sane and try to help myself to stick with the fast.
Looking back, my fast was far from perfect. But I learned something from my imperfect attempt. It was that there was value, even in my imperfection. The fast showed me that I could control what I ate, I could control my reactions. I learned that I could use alternatives to help me cope - especially with the major disappointment of not winning the BHAG house.
Towards the end of the fast my attitude stank. I was tired and ready for it to be finished. I agonised for the last week with guilt for introducing diary and then guilt for finishing early. It was almost as if I was conceding defeat this afternoon by ending it early. In a way, I was.
I have experienced the great GRACE of God in the past few hours as I dwelled on my imperfection. It's like God is telling me I value your efforts. I'm glad you tried. It's not all or nothing. There is great value in what you've done. You've learned lessons in coping, lessons about yourself,... you've trusted me. You've been humble and you've been humbled.
The revelation that there was value in imperfection inspired me. I instantly started vaccuuming and cleaning the bathroom because it didn't matter if it was perfect or complete anymore. What matttered was that I make an effort. After two hours cleaning and scrubbing, I felt fantastic.
I learned something and I believe God broke the spirit of '"Perfectionism" off my life.
Hallelujah and Amen.
The ache of detoxification.
Forgot to mention here the aching pains I got in my legs around days 7 - 9 of the fast. They were enough to keep me awake at night. I assume it was my body detoxing. Perhaps it was to do with the caffeine.
I am completely off caffeine now, which feels great. I will allow myself the odd social coffee with friends, but I'm not going to drink it at home or on my own. I'll stick to herbal teas at those times. I don't want to subject my body to the rigours of daily caffeine use, when it becomes so dependent on it. I was a regular 3 cup a day drinker with 2 decafs in the later part of the day. I would get a headache if I missed my morning coffee, but missing others would just make me grumpy. Now, I'm fine without it and if I get offered one, I don't particularly want it.
Along similar lines, I used to be quite addicted to Coke Zero too. I don't even want one. I'd rather drink water or juice. I'm not missing it. That is saving me quite a bit of money.
Bargain.
I am completely off caffeine now, which feels great. I will allow myself the odd social coffee with friends, but I'm not going to drink it at home or on my own. I'll stick to herbal teas at those times. I don't want to subject my body to the rigours of daily caffeine use, when it becomes so dependent on it. I was a regular 3 cup a day drinker with 2 decafs in the later part of the day. I would get a headache if I missed my morning coffee, but missing others would just make me grumpy. Now, I'm fine without it and if I get offered one, I don't particularly want it.
Along similar lines, I used to be quite addicted to Coke Zero too. I don't even want one. I'd rather drink water or juice. I'm not missing it. That is saving me quite a bit of money.
Bargain.
Wednesday 10 March 2010
Noticing a distinct drop in cravings,...
The caffeine cravings are long gone so we can all rejoice in that. But what I've noticed is that my desire for hot drinks is fading too. It seems there is nothing really keeping me attracted to them,... after all, herbal tea has no caffeine hit. I drink it without milk so there are not even any calories. In this heat, I don't even want to drink it. I have been drinking plenty of water and a little bit of fruit juice.
But one other craving really surprised me yesterday. I worked an 8+ hour day on my feet in a busy florist shop. We always stop for lunch but we don't tend to stop for morning tea unless it's dead. Needless to say, we were pretty busy yesterday and didn't stop to eat. I normally find myself walking out of the shop at 5pm-ish feeling ravenous and looking for the nearest chocolate bar / crisps / carb-dense thing I can get my hands on. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I walked to the car after work and I had not eaten morning tea or afternoon tea. No cappucino mid-afternoon to keep me going, no muesli bar or cakey-thing. I was very surprised to find that I wasn't even hungry at 5pm. I had an apple in my bag and munched it during the drive home, but the muesli bar and banana were left untouched.
It is so unlike me, that this is the point in my fast where I start thinking about the changes this is having on my body. As someone with PCOS / insulin resistance, the carbohydrate pendulum is swinging furiously day and night, going from absolute hunger to insulin overload in a rhythmic swing throughout the day. Doing this Daniel Fast interrupts that swing and the insulin production slows dramatically and with it, my cravings for food. I recognise this sensation from last time I fasted, the difference being that I'm fasting for 21 days this time, not 10.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to take this dietary sense of calm forward. I'm hoping that in future I'll be able to get through my work days, on my feet and running around, without feeling hungry for hollow carbs. It is, after all, the other food groups that are meeting most of my needs throughout the day. Nutritionist Cindy O'Meara says carbs are great for making you feel sleepy in the evening and questions why anyone would eat them at breakfast,.... but many people do.
So there is a sense of excitement as I continue with this fast. Previous attempts would have stopped at this point - day 10 - but for me, this is the part where I try and make all these positive changes a part of my daily routine. We'll see how it goes.
BTW: I don't think I won the home Better Homes & Gardens were giving away at Brightwater. They partied there all day yesterday and not only was I not invited, but they rubbed it in my face all day long on our local radio station, 91.1FM. Cruel. It was absolutely heartless!!!!! Notice that I didn't resort to old coping mechanisms like comfort food? Even when I was really disappointed? Progress, my friends, in the face of adversity. Yay me!!!!
But one other craving really surprised me yesterday. I worked an 8+ hour day on my feet in a busy florist shop. We always stop for lunch but we don't tend to stop for morning tea unless it's dead. Needless to say, we were pretty busy yesterday and didn't stop to eat. I normally find myself walking out of the shop at 5pm-ish feeling ravenous and looking for the nearest chocolate bar / crisps / carb-dense thing I can get my hands on. But not yesterday. Yesterday, I walked to the car after work and I had not eaten morning tea or afternoon tea. No cappucino mid-afternoon to keep me going, no muesli bar or cakey-thing. I was very surprised to find that I wasn't even hungry at 5pm. I had an apple in my bag and munched it during the drive home, but the muesli bar and banana were left untouched.
It is so unlike me, that this is the point in my fast where I start thinking about the changes this is having on my body. As someone with PCOS / insulin resistance, the carbohydrate pendulum is swinging furiously day and night, going from absolute hunger to insulin overload in a rhythmic swing throughout the day. Doing this Daniel Fast interrupts that swing and the insulin production slows dramatically and with it, my cravings for food. I recognise this sensation from last time I fasted, the difference being that I'm fasting for 21 days this time, not 10.
I'm hoping that I'll be able to take this dietary sense of calm forward. I'm hoping that in future I'll be able to get through my work days, on my feet and running around, without feeling hungry for hollow carbs. It is, after all, the other food groups that are meeting most of my needs throughout the day. Nutritionist Cindy O'Meara says carbs are great for making you feel sleepy in the evening and questions why anyone would eat them at breakfast,.... but many people do.
So there is a sense of excitement as I continue with this fast. Previous attempts would have stopped at this point - day 10 - but for me, this is the part where I try and make all these positive changes a part of my daily routine. We'll see how it goes.
BTW: I don't think I won the home Better Homes & Gardens were giving away at Brightwater. They partied there all day yesterday and not only was I not invited, but they rubbed it in my face all day long on our local radio station, 91.1FM. Cruel. It was absolutely heartless!!!!! Notice that I didn't resort to old coping mechanisms like comfort food? Even when I was really disappointed? Progress, my friends, in the face of adversity. Yay me!!!!
Friday 5 March 2010
I love the Shunnamite Woman
Re-reading the post about the Shunnamite Woman just makes me cry. God will give me a house. I know He will. He gave me a child when I was barren all those years. He gave me, the girl who couldn't have kids and tried everything, a gorgeous little girl. I do believe in miracles. I do.
In the photo: The gorgeous little girl - aka Gracey the Rock Chick - all partied out after singing too much 'Livin on a prayer' by Bon Jovi.
Thursday 4 March 2010
Day 4 - Recipes and Ideas
While doing my Daniel Fast, I've been eating a vegan diet. It makes breakfast hard, because cereal is not so nice without cows milk and, frankly, I'm not keen on soy milk or rice milk. They just taste yuk. I'd rather not have milk than drink that stuff. I know that makes me sound fussy, but I would seriously rather make my porridge with water and throw a bit of fruit on top of it, than to try to convince my tastebuds that soy milk tastes as good as cows milk.
Anyway, here are some of the recipes I've been playing around with on my fast.
Brekky Hash
This was inspired by Nigella's Brekky Hash - but she has bacon.
1 x tomato diced
1 x decent sized mushroom sliced
1 x Good handful of baby spinach leaves
1 x splash of extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper
Parsley if you have it.
Stir-fry all ingredients on a med-high heat until hot and spinach is wilted, around 3 - 5 minutes.
Serve on toasted wholegrain / sourdough bread or alongside some baked beans.
Optional idea: add some sliced fresh chilli to the mix.
Tainton's Carrot Salad
Grated carrot
Shredded coconut
Slivered almonds
Blackcurrants
Toast the coconut and roast the almonds. Toss all the ingredients together into a bowl and enjoy it. It works best with baby carrots because they are naturally sweet.
Date stuffed apples
These apples literally have their dates stuffed with apples.
Granny smith apple
Date (1 per apple)
Honey
Cinnamon
Remove the core from granny smith apple, leaving a clean hole in the centre. Run a horizontal slit around the skin so that the apple can swell on cooking. Stuff the apple hole with the date. Top it with a drizzle of honey and some cinnamon. Bake in the oven on 200c for approximately 20 minutes. This would be nice with accompaniments but none of them are included on my fast so I ate it straight.
A couple of ideas that work well in a vegan fast:
Sushi Rolls with Vegetable Fillings
Thai Rice Paper Rolls.
Anyway, here are some of the recipes I've been playing around with on my fast.
Brekky Hash
This was inspired by Nigella's Brekky Hash - but she has bacon.
1 x tomato diced
1 x decent sized mushroom sliced
1 x Good handful of baby spinach leaves
1 x splash of extra virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper
Parsley if you have it.
Stir-fry all ingredients on a med-high heat until hot and spinach is wilted, around 3 - 5 minutes.
Serve on toasted wholegrain / sourdough bread or alongside some baked beans.
Optional idea: add some sliced fresh chilli to the mix.
Tainton's Carrot Salad
Grated carrot
Shredded coconut
Slivered almonds
Blackcurrants
Toast the coconut and roast the almonds. Toss all the ingredients together into a bowl and enjoy it. It works best with baby carrots because they are naturally sweet.
Date stuffed apples
These apples literally have their dates stuffed with apples.
Granny smith apple
Date (1 per apple)
Honey
Cinnamon
Remove the core from granny smith apple, leaving a clean hole in the centre. Run a horizontal slit around the skin so that the apple can swell on cooking. Stuff the apple hole with the date. Top it with a drizzle of honey and some cinnamon. Bake in the oven on 200c for approximately 20 minutes. This would be nice with accompaniments but none of them are included on my fast so I ate it straight.
A couple of ideas that work well in a vegan fast:
Sushi Rolls with Vegetable Fillings
Thai Rice Paper Rolls.
Wednesday 3 March 2010
Pride comes before a,....
Well, after yesterday's proud humility, comes the inevitable fall. I was out, jetsetting around the coast. I was prepared with nuts, fruit and boiling water in a thermos for some herbal tea. I'd drunk my one coffee for the day and,.... well, I confess,... I bought a coffee. Not only did I not need the coffee (since I had already drunk one an hour or two before), the coffee was not part of my fast and neither was the MILK it was made from.
I do feel like I have committed a monumental blunder here. I wonder about the implications for the rest of my fast. Does God turn his face away from me now? Do I have to pay some kind of fasting penance?
No. I do need to come before God and repent though. My heart,.... the heart attitude that made me buy that coffee when I didn't need one, was one of selfishness and pride. My focus was not on God but on me and my body and how nice it would make me feel to drink a warm milky coffee on this miserable rain-flooded day. Even as I ordered it, I felt guilty. Repentance is necessary,...
But I know that as I come to God with a sorry heart and seek forgiveness he will be faithful and just and He will give me more opportunities to draw near to Him.
I love the promises of God. These are what I am holding out for with this fast. I am reminding God of the good promises He has made to me, the barren woman, who doesn't have enough money for a home.
I do feel like I have committed a monumental blunder here. I wonder about the implications for the rest of my fast. Does God turn his face away from me now? Do I have to pay some kind of fasting penance?
No. I do need to come before God and repent though. My heart,.... the heart attitude that made me buy that coffee when I didn't need one, was one of selfishness and pride. My focus was not on God but on me and my body and how nice it would make me feel to drink a warm milky coffee on this miserable rain-flooded day. Even as I ordered it, I felt guilty. Repentance is necessary,...
But I know that as I come to God with a sorry heart and seek forgiveness he will be faithful and just and He will give me more opportunities to draw near to Him.
Psalm 113
1 Praise the LORD.
Praise, O servants of the LORD,
praise the name of the LORD.
2 Let the name of the LORD be praised,
both now and forevermore.
3 From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised.
4 The LORD is exalted over all the nations,
his glory above the heavens.
5 Who is like the LORD our God,
the One who sits enthroned on high,
6 who stoops down to look
on the heavens and the earth?
7 He raises the poor from the dust
and lifts the needy from the ash heap;
8 he seats them with princes,
with the princes of their people.
9 He settles the barren woman in her home
as a happy mother of children.
Praise the LORD.
I love the promises of God. These are what I am holding out for with this fast. I am reminding God of the good promises He has made to me, the barren woman, who doesn't have enough money for a home.
Tuesday 2 March 2010
Proud of myself,...
I am proud of myself for being so humble. Sounds stupid, I know,... but what I mean is I'm proud of myself for laying my pride down at the Lord's feet through fasting. I'm really glad I've done this - even just for two days!!!
For two whole days my actions have showed the Lord that He is God in my life. Every meal and snack time is an opportunity to humble myself and honour God. Even if I collapse and crumble tomorrow, I will still be happy with myself for spending two days honouring God. If I can make it to 21, all the better!!!!
Q: How often in our busy lives do we set aside time for God?
A: Not very! We rush around from alarm clock to couch collapse doing things we will have forgotten all about in two months time.
But fasting has eternal significance. It is an act of worship and of breaking down strongholds. It glorifies God and it heals my body all at the same time. What a miracle!
So today, I felt closer to God than I have in a long time and it was because I had been obedient to His word. In 1 Samuel 15:22 it says to obey is better than sacrifice, meaning it is far better to do as God asks in the first place, than to sin and rely on the Grace of God. Obedience is joyful and abundant. Sacrifice carries with it scar tissue and regret.
For two whole days my actions have showed the Lord that He is God in my life. Every meal and snack time is an opportunity to humble myself and honour God. Even if I collapse and crumble tomorrow, I will still be happy with myself for spending two days honouring God. If I can make it to 21, all the better!!!!
Q: How often in our busy lives do we set aside time for God?
A: Not very! We rush around from alarm clock to couch collapse doing things we will have forgotten all about in two months time.
But fasting has eternal significance. It is an act of worship and of breaking down strongholds. It glorifies God and it heals my body all at the same time. What a miracle!
So today, I felt closer to God than I have in a long time and it was because I had been obedient to His word. In 1 Samuel 15:22 it says to obey is better than sacrifice, meaning it is far better to do as God asks in the first place, than to sin and rely on the Grace of God. Obedience is joyful and abundant. Sacrifice carries with it scar tissue and regret.
Monday 1 March 2010
Fast Day 1 - Caffeine Withdrawals
The first day of my fast was harder than anticipated. The problem? Coffee. My body is used to having around three heavy coffees a day, and one or two decafs. I was planning to fast coffee as well as part of the Daniel Fast.
By lunch time I had one heck of a headache and was really churned up inside about the issue of coffee and this fast. I've done two Daniel Fasts previously and I did one each way. My rationale for keeping the coffee in was that I failed the first fast and fell apart after six days. I didn't want coffee cravings to be the reason for failing the entire fast and then beating myself up for it. After all, this is not a diet it is a spiritual endeavour.
So I've spent the entire day feeling a bit confused about what to do and how to cope with the headaches and cravings. My decision is this - I will drink a couple of coffees tomorrow because I'll be at work and the last thing I need while working is a headache. On Wednesday, though, I'll cut the coffees out and allow myself to detoxify. After all, isn't that the point of the fast? The headaches should be all gone by the time I have to work again.
Maybe coffee is one thing that would be good to give up completely as a result of this fast???? Herbal tea eg. peppermint tea has a lot fewer nasty side effects.
I spent some time in prayer today and even marvelled when God gave me an instant answer to a little request for help. All those headaches today prompted prayers that would not normally get prayed. I know that God is faithful and the other things I'm fasting and praying for will be high up on God's to do list this month.
By lunch time I had one heck of a headache and was really churned up inside about the issue of coffee and this fast. I've done two Daniel Fasts previously and I did one each way. My rationale for keeping the coffee in was that I failed the first fast and fell apart after six days. I didn't want coffee cravings to be the reason for failing the entire fast and then beating myself up for it. After all, this is not a diet it is a spiritual endeavour.
So I've spent the entire day feeling a bit confused about what to do and how to cope with the headaches and cravings. My decision is this - I will drink a couple of coffees tomorrow because I'll be at work and the last thing I need while working is a headache. On Wednesday, though, I'll cut the coffees out and allow myself to detoxify. After all, isn't that the point of the fast? The headaches should be all gone by the time I have to work again.
Maybe coffee is one thing that would be good to give up completely as a result of this fast???? Herbal tea eg. peppermint tea has a lot fewer nasty side effects.
I spent some time in prayer today and even marvelled when God gave me an instant answer to a little request for help. All those headaches today prompted prayers that would not normally get prayed. I know that God is faithful and the other things I'm fasting and praying for will be high up on God's to do list this month.
Sunday 28 February 2010
My 21 day fast starts tomorrow
I am doing a 21 day fast, starting tomorrow, in conjunction with the congregation at my Church. Jesus said not to make it obvious that you are fasting, but to get dressed, brush your hair and get on with your life. The whole point of fasting is to reconnect and revitalise your relationship with God, not to gain some kind of sympathy from your colleagues and friends. So why am I sharing it all here on my blog?
I want you to understand what it's like to fast. I want to share the sacrifices and struggles that go with it. I also want to share the miracles that happen as a result of my fast - I am expecting several! I have fasted before and failed before I reached my planned end date. So, as a strategy to help me make it to the end I have anticipated temptation and made plans to deal with it. Expect a blog entry about that on approximately day 6, if past experience is anything to go by.
There is a group of Church goals that we are believing for,.... but my understanding of the spiritual purpose of fasting is that it breaks strongholds. So, really, we are believing for the breaking down of strongholds that would prevent us from reaching our goals.
My personal stronghold and my lifelong battle that needs divine intervention is an addiction to food. I'm a foodie, a food junkie, a chocaholic, you name it I crave it! Food is my number 1 coping mechanism and boy, doesn't my waistline show it! I've even been counselled for a binge-eating disorder,... but some counsellors say it's not an eating disorder, it's just disordered eating. Either way, it's inappropriate and it puts food before God.
So, God has been leaning on me, as He does and his Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about doing this 21 day fast and laying down my food addiction once and for all. I know that it lies at the root of my struggles with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). So it is with humility and trepidation that I head off to bed tonight, knowing that from tomorrow morning all I will be eating are fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds and wholegrains.
I'll blog daily through this time to explain more about the fast, the food, the rationale and the temptations. I'll tell you a little bit more about what I hope to gain from the experience and what I hope to do at the end of this 21 days. So stay tuned and return often for updates.
I want you to understand what it's like to fast. I want to share the sacrifices and struggles that go with it. I also want to share the miracles that happen as a result of my fast - I am expecting several! I have fasted before and failed before I reached my planned end date. So, as a strategy to help me make it to the end I have anticipated temptation and made plans to deal with it. Expect a blog entry about that on approximately day 6, if past experience is anything to go by.
There is a group of Church goals that we are believing for,.... but my understanding of the spiritual purpose of fasting is that it breaks strongholds. So, really, we are believing for the breaking down of strongholds that would prevent us from reaching our goals.
My personal stronghold and my lifelong battle that needs divine intervention is an addiction to food. I'm a foodie, a food junkie, a chocaholic, you name it I crave it! Food is my number 1 coping mechanism and boy, doesn't my waistline show it! I've even been counselled for a binge-eating disorder,... but some counsellors say it's not an eating disorder, it's just disordered eating. Either way, it's inappropriate and it puts food before God.
So, God has been leaning on me, as He does and his Holy Spirit has been speaking to me about doing this 21 day fast and laying down my food addiction once and for all. I know that it lies at the root of my struggles with PolyCystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). So it is with humility and trepidation that I head off to bed tonight, knowing that from tomorrow morning all I will be eating are fruit, vegetables, nuts, seeds and wholegrains.
I'll blog daily through this time to explain more about the fast, the food, the rationale and the temptations. I'll tell you a little bit more about what I hope to gain from the experience and what I hope to do at the end of this 21 days. So stay tuned and return often for updates.
Friday 29 January 2010
The stories of the Shunnamite Woman
2 Kings 4:8-17 - The Lord gives her a son
8 One day Elisha went to Shunem. And a well-to-do woman was there, who urged him to stay for a meal. So whenever he came by, he stopped there to eat. 9 She said to her husband, "I know that this man who often comes our way is a holy man of God. 10 Let's make a small room on the roof and put in it a bed and a table, a chair and a lamp for him. Then he can stay there whenever he comes to us."
11 One day when Elisha came, he went up to his room and lay down there. 12 He said to his servant Gehazi, "Call the Shunammite." So he called her, and she stood before him. 13 Elisha said to him, "Tell her, 'You have gone to all this trouble for us. Now what can be done for you? Can we speak on your behalf to the king or the commander of the army?' "She replied, "I have a home among my own people."
14 "What can be done for her?" Elisha asked. Gehazi said, "Well, she has no son and her husband is old."
15 Then Elisha said, "Call her." So he called her, and she stood in the doorway. 16 "About this time next year," Elisha said, "you will hold a son in your arms." "No, my lord," she objected. "Don't mislead your servant, O man of God!*"
17 But the woman became pregnant, and the next year about that same time she gave birth to a son, just as Elisha had told her.
*Some versions say "Don't get my hopes up".
2 Kings 4:18-37 - The Lord restores her son's life
18 The child grew, and one day he went out to his father, who was with the reapers. 19 "My head! My head!" he said to his father. His father told a servant, "Carry him to his mother." 20 After the servant had lifted him up and carried him to his mother, the boy sat on her lap until noon, and then he died. 21 She went up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, then shut the door and went out.
22 She called her husband and said, "Please send me one of the servants and a donkey so I can go to the man of God quickly and return."
23 "Why go to him today?" he asked. "It's not the New Moon or the Sabbath." "It's all right," she said.
24 She saddled the donkey and said to her servant, "Lead on; don't slow down for me unless I tell you." 25 So she set out and came to the man of God at Mount Carmel. When he saw her in the distance, the man of God said to his servant Gehazi, "Look! There's the Shunammite! 26 Run to meet her and ask her, 'Are you all right? Is your husband all right? Is your child all right?'" "Everything is all right," she said.
27 When she reached the man of God at the mountain, she took hold of his feet. Gehazi came over to push her away, but the man of God said, "Leave her alone! She is in bitter distress, but the LORD has hidden it from me and has not told me why."
28 "Did I ask you for a son, my lord?" she said. "Didn't I tell you, 'Don't raise my hopes'?"
29 Elisha said to Gehazi, "Tuck your cloak into your belt, take my staff in your hand and run. If you meet anyone, do not greet him, and if anyone greets you, do not answer. Lay my staff on the boy's face."
30 But the child's mother said, "As surely as the LORD lives and as you live, I will not leave you." So he got up and followed her.
31 Gehazi went on ahead and laid the staff on the boy's face, but there was no sound or response. So Gehazi went back to meet Elisha and told him, "The boy has not awakened."
32 When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. 33 He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the LORD. 34 Then he got on the bed and lay upon the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out upon him, the boy's body grew warm. 35 Elisha turned away and walked back and forth in the room and then got on the bed and stretched out upon him once more. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes.
36 Elisha summoned Gehazi and said, "Call the Shunammite." And he did. When she came, he said, "Take your son." 37 She came in, fell at his feet and bowed to the ground. Then she took her son and went out.
2 Kings 8:1-6 - The Lord restores her home
1 Now Elisha had said to the woman whose son he had restored to life, "Go away with your family and stay for a while wherever you can, because the LORD has decreed a famine in the land that will last seven years." 2 The woman proceeded to do as the man of God said. She and her family went away and stayed in the land of the Philistines seven years.
3 At the end of the seven years she came back from the land of the Philistines and went to the king to beg for her house and land. 4 The king was talking to Gehazi, the servant of the man of God, and had said, "Tell me about all the great things Elisha has done." 5 Just as Gehazi was telling the king how Elisha had restored the dead to life, the woman whose son Elisha had brought back to life came to beg the king for her house and land. Gehazi said, "This is the woman, my lord the king, and this is her son whom Elisha restored to life." 6 The king asked the woman about it, and she told him. Then he assigned an official to her case and said to him, "Give back everything that belonged to her, including all the income from her land from the day she left the country until now."
Wow. This is a powerful old testament story. We tend to attribute amazing miracles to Jesus, but Elisha has some fantastic ones. In fact, if you think about the Biblical principle of 'first mention' then these were powerful examples and faith builders for Jesus. I imagine Him, as a young boy, hearing these stories read aloud in the temple and growing in faith. Over the years I have learned so much about the barren Shunamite woman. I felt her pain. I begged God time and again not to get my hopes up. Hope is far too painful when it's dashed.
Lately, probably as part of reflecting on my goals for the year, I've been considering what is important to me, things I'd like to see happen this year. One of these, is that I'd like to have a house. We've been renting for years and it's wearing thin. I'd dearly love my own home. So, I might have prayed a prayer or two about it in the past week or two.
When Better Homes and Garden announced their competition to win a home on the Sunshine Coast, I found myself salivating. Wouldn't it be great to win a home? My self talk went something like "Don't be stupid. You wouldn't win that home! [pause] Why not? Somebody has got to win that competition and it might as well be me. Why not me? Why couldn't it be me?"
But this morning, while praying about my goals, about my desire for a home, about this competition, I just randomly flipped open my Bible. It landed open at 2 Kings 8, a story I had never read before starring a woman I knew well and related to as a kindred spirit. We shared the pain of infertility and it sucked. But here she was, begging for the return of her home and being blessed abundantly for it. She shared with the King about what Elisha had done for her and God was glorified for it.
Wow. That story is filling me with faith for my dream this year - to have my own home again.
8 One day Elisha went to Shunem. And a well-to-do woman was there, who urged him to stay for a meal. So whenever he came by, he stopped there to eat. 9 She said to her husband, "I know that this man who often comes our way is a holy man of God. 10 Let's make a small room on the roof and put in it a bed and a table, a chair and a lamp for him. Then he can stay there whenever he comes to us."
11 One day when Elisha came, he went up to his room and lay down there. 12 He said to his servant Gehazi, "Call the Shunammite." So he called her, and she stood before him. 13 Elisha said to him, "Tell her, 'You have gone to all this trouble for us. Now what can be done for you? Can we speak on your behalf to the king or the commander of the army?' "She replied, "I have a home among my own people."
14 "What can be done for her?" Elisha asked. Gehazi said, "Well, she has no son and her husband is old."
15 Then Elisha said, "Call her." So he called her, and she stood in the doorway. 16 "About this time next year," Elisha said, "you will hold a son in your arms." "No, my lord," she objected. "Don't mislead your servant, O man of God!*"
17 But the woman became pregnant, and the next year about that same time she gave birth to a son, just as Elisha had told her.
*Some versions say "Don't get my hopes up".
2 Kings 4:18-37 - The Lord restores her son's life
18 The child grew, and one day he went out to his father, who was with the reapers. 19 "My head! My head!" he said to his father. His father told a servant, "Carry him to his mother." 20 After the servant had lifted him up and carried him to his mother, the boy sat on her lap until noon, and then he died. 21 She went up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, then shut the door and went out.
22 She called her husband and said, "Please send me one of the servants and a donkey so I can go to the man of God quickly and return."
23 "Why go to him today?" he asked. "It's not the New Moon or the Sabbath." "It's all right," she said.
24 She saddled the donkey and said to her servant, "Lead on; don't slow down for me unless I tell you." 25 So she set out and came to the man of God at Mount Carmel. When he saw her in the distance, the man of God said to his servant Gehazi, "Look! There's the Shunammite! 26 Run to meet her and ask her, 'Are you all right? Is your husband all right? Is your child all right?'" "Everything is all right," she said.
27 When she reached the man of God at the mountain, she took hold of his feet. Gehazi came over to push her away, but the man of God said, "Leave her alone! She is in bitter distress, but the LORD has hidden it from me and has not told me why."
28 "Did I ask you for a son, my lord?" she said. "Didn't I tell you, 'Don't raise my hopes'?"
29 Elisha said to Gehazi, "Tuck your cloak into your belt, take my staff in your hand and run. If you meet anyone, do not greet him, and if anyone greets you, do not answer. Lay my staff on the boy's face."
30 But the child's mother said, "As surely as the LORD lives and as you live, I will not leave you." So he got up and followed her.
31 Gehazi went on ahead and laid the staff on the boy's face, but there was no sound or response. So Gehazi went back to meet Elisha and told him, "The boy has not awakened."
32 When Elisha reached the house, there was the boy lying dead on his couch. 33 He went in, shut the door on the two of them and prayed to the LORD. 34 Then he got on the bed and lay upon the boy, mouth to mouth, eyes to eyes, hands to hands. As he stretched himself out upon him, the boy's body grew warm. 35 Elisha turned away and walked back and forth in the room and then got on the bed and stretched out upon him once more. The boy sneezed seven times and opened his eyes.
36 Elisha summoned Gehazi and said, "Call the Shunammite." And he did. When she came, he said, "Take your son." 37 She came in, fell at his feet and bowed to the ground. Then she took her son and went out.
2 Kings 8:1-6 - The Lord restores her home
1 Now Elisha had said to the woman whose son he had restored to life, "Go away with your family and stay for a while wherever you can, because the LORD has decreed a famine in the land that will last seven years." 2 The woman proceeded to do as the man of God said. She and her family went away and stayed in the land of the Philistines seven years.
3 At the end of the seven years she came back from the land of the Philistines and went to the king to beg for her house and land. 4 The king was talking to Gehazi, the servant of the man of God, and had said, "Tell me about all the great things Elisha has done." 5 Just as Gehazi was telling the king how Elisha had restored the dead to life, the woman whose son Elisha had brought back to life came to beg the king for her house and land. Gehazi said, "This is the woman, my lord the king, and this is her son whom Elisha restored to life." 6 The king asked the woman about it, and she told him. Then he assigned an official to her case and said to him, "Give back everything that belonged to her, including all the income from her land from the day she left the country until now."
Wow. This is a powerful old testament story. We tend to attribute amazing miracles to Jesus, but Elisha has some fantastic ones. In fact, if you think about the Biblical principle of 'first mention' then these were powerful examples and faith builders for Jesus. I imagine Him, as a young boy, hearing these stories read aloud in the temple and growing in faith. Over the years I have learned so much about the barren Shunamite woman. I felt her pain. I begged God time and again not to get my hopes up. Hope is far too painful when it's dashed.
Lately, probably as part of reflecting on my goals for the year, I've been considering what is important to me, things I'd like to see happen this year. One of these, is that I'd like to have a house. We've been renting for years and it's wearing thin. I'd dearly love my own home. So, I might have prayed a prayer or two about it in the past week or two.
When Better Homes and Garden announced their competition to win a home on the Sunshine Coast, I found myself salivating. Wouldn't it be great to win a home? My self talk went something like "Don't be stupid. You wouldn't win that home! [pause] Why not? Somebody has got to win that competition and it might as well be me. Why not me? Why couldn't it be me?"
But this morning, while praying about my goals, about my desire for a home, about this competition, I just randomly flipped open my Bible. It landed open at 2 Kings 8, a story I had never read before starring a woman I knew well and related to as a kindred spirit. We shared the pain of infertility and it sucked. But here she was, begging for the return of her home and being blessed abundantly for it. She shared with the King about what Elisha had done for her and God was glorified for it.
Wow. That story is filling me with faith for my dream this year - to have my own home again.
Get yourself organised.
I have to admit, a tidy decluttered home is my version of mecca. It definitely seems like an unattainable goal,... just like losing 20 kg and being a respectable 75 kg. I wish!!! Ugh.
Anyway, we all need a little help along the way and Simple Mom have some great articles on organising and decluttering. One of my favourites is using your super tall glamourous spaghetti vase (that only gets fresh flowers put in it once or twice a year) as storage for spare toilet rolls in the loo. Nice.
Here's the URL: http://simplemom.net/
Return often.
Anyway, we all need a little help along the way and Simple Mom have some great articles on organising and decluttering. One of my favourites is using your super tall glamourous spaghetti vase (that only gets fresh flowers put in it once or twice a year) as storage for spare toilet rolls in the loo. Nice.
Here's the URL: http://simplemom.net/
Return often.
Saturday 23 January 2010
Writing Routines.
I have been dabbling on twitter lately. You can find me at www.twitter.com/annajharris. In the process, I came across one of my old favourite bloggers, Hugh MacLeod at Gaping Void. If you haven't seen his blog, it's worth a visit. He is amazing cartoonist who likes to look at the world from a the perspective of a slightly cynical marketer. He knows the jargon, but he doesn't necessarily believe it. I like him. I love his cartoons. I love his take on creativity. I love his brevity - he draws cartoons on business cards. Nice.
Anyway, the point? He shared a link to another blog called daily routines. This blog shares interviews with all manner of artists, writers and creatives about the daily routines that couch their creative process. I find it incredibly interesting because as a writer, I understand the value of the daily process. It's almost like an athlete training. It keeps your brain fit, it keeps your hands fit, it keeps your ideas growing and developing. It's hard to demonstrate, but when you write every day for a decent length of time, you begin to understand it. Suddenly, you are like a plant in season and all the buds begin to swell and get a bit of colour on them, petals unfurl and something is born.
Writing is organic,... I'm glad to see myself writing again. This is a good thing. It's almost a lost art for me but gee, I need it. It is such good stress management for me. [sigh]
Anyway, the point? He shared a link to another blog called daily routines. This blog shares interviews with all manner of artists, writers and creatives about the daily routines that couch their creative process. I find it incredibly interesting because as a writer, I understand the value of the daily process. It's almost like an athlete training. It keeps your brain fit, it keeps your hands fit, it keeps your ideas growing and developing. It's hard to demonstrate, but when you write every day for a decent length of time, you begin to understand it. Suddenly, you are like a plant in season and all the buds begin to swell and get a bit of colour on them, petals unfurl and something is born.
Writing is organic,... I'm glad to see myself writing again. This is a good thing. It's almost a lost art for me but gee, I need it. It is such good stress management for me. [sigh]
Tuesday 12 January 2010
Psalm 131 (New International Version)
Psalm 131
A song of ascents. Of David.
1 My heart is not proud, O LORD,my eyes are not haughty;
I do not concern myself with great matters
or things too wonderful for me.
2 But I have stilled and quieted my soul;
like a weaned child with its mother,
like a weaned child is my soul within me.
3 O Israel, put your hope in the LORD
both now and forevermore.
What a precious picture,... a baby at peace in its mother's arms. I just had to share that. There are so many great Psalms, but this was particularly special. Lay in the arms of the Lord, allow Him to hold you close. He will protect you and calm your soul. The amplified Bible says that there is no more 'fretting' so chill out!
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